A Princeton Weekend

Most people do not think of New Jersey as a particularly beautiful state.

This past weekend, on a clear fall day with a light breeze, I found myself in Princeton, New Jersey, walking the same pathways travelled by former presidents and master architects, and by a much younger me. Sunshine warmed me as it did the old buildings I walked by. The cobblestones seemed to sparkle as I relished the absence of students -- no need for a constant reminder of how many years it's been. I left believing there is no more beautiful place than New Jersey in the fall.

I was lucky enough to be invited to a weekend Volunteer Leadership Conference at Princeton. My 25th college reunion (we already covered the age topic) takes place in June, 2010, and my college roommate, Maria, and I are responsible for organizing the Class of '85 Community Service Project, which will take place as part of the reunion. For one and a half days, we were wined and dined, with guest speakers and workshops sprinkled in between, to get us focused on and excited about our future efforts on behalf of the University.

Thursday afternoon we attended a program featuring Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She is amazing for her poise, scope of knowledge, and historic legal successes on behalf of women. Friday morning we gathered to hear Dean of the Woodrow Wilson School Anne Marie Slaughter, who just returned from a year in China with her husband and two children. She is incredibly well-read, counts several foreign leaders around the world among her close friends and still manages to seem very down to earth and concerned about the same issues confronting Americans, and mothers, everywhere. Friday afternoon was filled with workshops, while Friday night's dinner featured Neil Rudenstine, former Provost at Princeton and now retired President of Harvard. One of Rudenstine's latest ventures concerns bringing historical art into the new digital media.

As the weekend progressed, it became abundantly clear how lucky I was to be in the company of not only amazing speakers, but incredibly involved and diverse alumni. While I didn't go so far as to pinch myself, I did look around a few times to make sure I fit in, afraid that perhaps I wasn't where I was supposed to be, given the certainty that my resume is not nearly as impressive or all-encompassing as most of those around me.

You will not find it surprising that I was reminded of the sensation I experienced as an undergraduate, among friends whose fathers were doctors, senators or CEO's, or whose families owned islands or were directly linked to "Her Highness" somewhere. At that time, as now, I was humbled and somewhat awkward around this group of social elites. Of course, there were plenty of non-elites such as myself, and we all found our way through the morass of our late teens and early twenties, and ultimately to graduation.

Certainly there are graduates with more impressive, and, for that matter, less impressive credentials than mine, as there were then and will always be. However, my proximity -- easily within 7 degrees -- to the famous and often infamous PU graduates is, I have realized, not the best part of my Princeton experience. What I learned this weekend that I didn't fully understand in 1985, is that by virtue of my attendance at Princeton in the early 1980s, I will always be a part of an educated and exceptional community of people, all sharing a unique experience.

In addition, this visit brought home for me the sheer luck of it all. The luck of my having applied in the first place, the luck of having an interviewer who liked me, and the luck of having an admired uncle who preceded me at Princeton and encouraged me to attend. The only thing not lucky about my going to Princeton was my hard work throughout high school, and the serious effort my parents put in on all fronts to get their four children into a college where each of us could succeed.

Three of my children have already applied to college. I truly believe each one found themselves at the right one for them (we'll give Trey a few more months before we say this for certain, though we do have a feeling that CofC is the right fit for him at this point in his life). We still have two future college graduates who have not yet applied. I hope that some day each of my children will be lucky enough to have the same experience I did, to be part of an inspiring community with members who not only contribute to the world at large in a meaningful way, but who realize how lucky they are just to be present.

Two Choices for Fall

The way I see it, we are extremely lucky to have a choice. Every four years, we Americans are presented with a unique opportunity to choose between two excellent alternatives. Each alternative is very attractively presented and has much to offer by way of both appearance and, more importantly, substance. As the time gets closer to make a choice, we find each alternative increasingly demanding our attention and seeking our support. This year, the time is fast approaching for us to decide which Apple we prefer.

On the one hand, we have the very traditional, solid, sometimes surprising choice which has been around for a long [long, long, long] time. Although this traditional Apple (let's call it "T.A.", just to make things easier) has been around since before many of our parents, to its credit T.A. works hard to mix things up every now and then. Mixing it up for T.A. includes such maneuvers as moving beyond its 90% predictability rating to making downright outlandish choices, ostensibly to energize its biggest fans, most of whom are named Joe. Of course, you might assume T.A.'s biggest fans are already energized, so why go with outlandishness. But, you know what happens when you assume. To his credit, T.A. does an excellent job of calling to our attention the drawbacks of the newer alternative ("N.A." will work here), with constant reminders of how one bad apple placed into the bag early on spoils the whole bunch (no need for fact-checking here; I've seen firsthand, in my own kitchen cabinet, what happens to otherwise healthy apples, onions, and even potatoes when you put one rotten apple in with the bunch....oh, the smell, the mess ... but, I digress...).

Despite my early apprehensions, I have truly come to love watching T.A. on television, or, should I say, a reasonable fascimile thereof, late, on Saturday nights. Much more fun than watching either the Patriots or (boo, hoo) the Red Sox. I even look forward to T.A.'s mailings. So far, Bill has received an 8x10 glossy photo, an invitation to Dinner, and a FREE postage pre-paid, FedEx overnight envelope. The question I have is this: How did T.A. know to send the envelope to Bill and not me? Is T.A. monitoring Bill's radio listening? his choice of cable news networks? the jokes he forwards to me via email? How could T.A. possibly know to address these mailings to Bill and not me? If I were a more sensitive wife, I might feel left out of all the fun.

Of course, you all know I am not really that sensitive. And, I like creating my own fun, clearly.

Maybe T.A. knows that I made my choice several months ago. Maybe that's why I'm not getting personalized mailings. Maybe T.A. reads my Blog!!!! OMG! LOL! Sadly, though, if he does check in (oh, come on, he might, since he does send all that mail to Bill...), he will not be surprised to discover that I, like my bro' Colin Powell, find coconut to be "transformational." My choice:

Coconut, after all, makes the Apple so much easier to chew.

My Last Pre-Middle Age Day

At what age do we turn middle-aged? Is it 40? 45? 50? At what age are we allowed the indulgence of a middle age crisis? Are women, mothers, ever allowed such an indulgence? I certainly have no desire to run out and buy a red convertible, but I do have my eyes on a handbag that is far too ridiculous a purchase in these economic times. Does that count? Surely I need to stay away from my computer and the mall tomorrow, if only because I know that on my birthday I am much more likely to "click to purchase" than on any other day of the year.

While running down my favorite farm road this morning (the inspiration for "Chasing Shade," actually, when on hot summer days I found myself criss-crossing the street in search of shade to ease my run) I started mulling over the fact that I will be 45 tomorrow. It's begun to bother me a little bit, not because of the number itself, but because of the unknown that turning older brings to your life. My eyes are genuinely less predictable, my metabolism appears to be getting sloooower and sloooower, and my few gray hairs have brought along their cousins.

Ah, yes, but I did go for a run this morning, and my legs didn't give out (though I didn't get any beeps like I used to in the old days... probably a good thing). I haven't misplaced my keys in many months, and I still don't look like a complete fool in washed-out denim (if I do, please, someone, tell me!). Oh, and because of my gender, I don't have to worry about my prostate or Viagra. Truly, a blessing.

Yet, I'm pretty sure that tomorrow I will officially be middle-aged. I have about 18 hours to convince myself it's not a bad thing, especially if you consider it means I will live to 90! Yet, it is still somewhat unsettling. So, I'm going to enjoy today as much as possible. And, yes, my kids and siblings still have to call me tomorrow, but everyone else is off the hook. I need as little reminding as possible. Truly.


RECIPE OF THE WEEK -- Homemade Dogfood

I know what you're all thinking, she's finally gone off the deep end, making homemade dog food (you should have seen the looks on Meg and Mark's faces last night when we were explaining the process to them --- they think we're nuts!). But, let me assure you, our three dogs are thriving on this combination, and if you get the timing down, it doesn't take that long. One batch lasts the three dogs about 5 days. You can adjust accordingly. The breeder recommended that the puppy get 1.5 lbs. of food per day, Kovu (male/five yrs. old) get 2 lbs., and Chloe (female/11 yrs. old) get 1 lb. Since starting on this recipe, Chloe is like a new dog, thinner and with a lot more energy. Kovu has also slimmed down and his coat is shiny and beautiful. As for the puppy, she would probably eat wallpaper glue if I gave her that, but she loves this, too. Think about it.

Proportions should be 1/4 protein (beef) and 3/4 carbohydrates. We accomplish this with the following ingredients:

Long grain Brown Rice (cooked)
Carrots and Broccoli, steamed or boiled long enough to chop easily in the food processor. About
twice as many carrots as broccoli, as some broccoli is good but not too much (don't know why..)
Powdered Milk (calcium)
Pumpkin (canned) or Pineapple (chopped) -- added so the dogs don't eat ... you know...
Large scoop of cottage cheese (more calcium) (added right before serving)
Raw beef (we use 85% hamburger) (added right before serving)

We also put in a supplement called Nupro (from Revival.com), akin to a powdered vitamin.

Try it. I'm sure your dogs will love it.

CofC Parents Weekend October 2008 -- Click to View Movie

Trey is Alive and Well and Living in Charleston, South Carolina

We had a fabulous time visiting Will at College of Charleston last weekend. Ethan, Julia, Bill, my mother and I flew down on Friday and returned Sunday feeling a bit more Southern and looking forward to a return visit. Our friends, Audrey and Terry Price, graciously lent us their (beautiful) home in Isle of Palms, about 20 minutes outside of downtown Charleston, where the College is located. We had a great dinner Friday night with Will's friend, Ben, at Oak Steakhouse, located in a three-story mansion on Broad Street. On Saturday, we met up with Will at the Farmers Market at Marion Square and then met Uncle Rob with Makayla, Trey and Maggie at our house on the beach. Will arrived shortly thereafter with a dozen or so friends and half a dozen parents, some with beer for the boys. A quick loading up of a cooler filled with ice, and then beach chairs, a football, and soccer ball, and we were off to the beach (200 feet away....). The water was warm, the boys were gracious and laughing, the sand was muddy enough to make both Treys very happy, and we even got to hold and marvel at some starfish in the shallow waters.

I know most of you are wondering about Trey.... how he's doing, etc.

Well.... our general consensus is that Trey has found the perfect college for Trey. Once you get past the name game (had to stop introducing ourselves as Will's parents, or Ethan as Will's brother; no one knew who we were talking about ....), you start to clearly see that Trey is in his element. He and two of his three roommates are pledging at the Sigma Chi fraternity. Not knowing ANYTHING about fraternities, we didn't know what to expect. Needless to say, we found the boys all to be extremely polite, well-dressed/groomed, bright, social, and big fans of our son. He is President of the freshmen pledge class; his roommate, Beau is social chair. Given the almost 3:1 girl:boy ratio at CofC, the Sigma Chi boys are doing very well for themselves. We had them to the beach, and they returned the favor with a wine/cheese reception for all the parents on Saturday. Alex and Corly's apartment was over the sushi restaurant on King Street and for a few brief moments we wished we were college students all over again. One thing I keep marveling over is Will's invitation to Ethan to hang out with him on Friday and Saturday nights. Ethan joined him for a fun and (mostly) sleepless night on Friday, then opted to stay home (no fake i.d.?) on Saturday. Thankfully Julia is only 9, or I'd have my hands full!

So, nothing but good news on CofC. I have to send a huge shout-out to Nancy Sacco, Will's guidance counselor at St. John's Prep, for steering Will in the direction of Charleston. The only thing we have small regrets about is the realization that Trey may never return to New England, at least on a permanent basis, for surely he'd have to revert to Will, and that just doesn't seem right!

P.S. If anyone has any experience with Charleston, I'd love to hear it. We are quickly falling in love with the City, and would appreciate a chance to swap stories and learn more before we head back down sometime in the spring. May be the perfect location for a girls' weekend????

A Good Week, So Far

A good week so far.

All is right with the world. Or, at least with my world. Sort of, I mean in relation to everyone else's world, sort of, if you know what I mean.

Compared to families living in Haiti, my week has been GREAT! Compared to owners of stock in, well, you name it, Wachovia, WaMu, Lehmann Bros., AIG, my week has been very good. Compared to last week, when I could barely walk because I (foolishly) walked 26 miles in the Dana Farber Jimmy Fund Cancer Walk on Sunday (Advice to those who believe that just because they are in good shape, they can walk ANY distance .... Don't Believe It), this has been a good week for me.

The peach was pushed through; the puppy has largely stopped peeing all over the house; the Appeal for the client accused of rape is DONE; and, we are headed to Charleston on Friday with the whole family to visit Will, er, uh, Trey for the weekend. We'll also see my brother, Rob, with his kids at some point on Saturday, and are all staying together in a friend's house by the ocean in Isle of Palms. You see? A good week.

Can you tell I'm not letting the doom and gloom of any bailout package get me down? Bill can't understand why we all aren't up at arms about the mere proposal of a package to help out people who bought houses they couldn't afford, to help banks who took risks they couldn't manage, and to provide stability for investment banks that certainly aren't going to ask for a return of billions of dollars in bonuses given. Where is our outrage? What about the impact this will have on our children's future, and on our country generally for the next several decades?

I think the bailout, not to mention the banks' actions, congress' inability to unite effectively, and the candidates' own inability to explain things to the American people in plain English, speaks for itself. Let's just leave it at that. Oh, and, enjoy the picture of our newest addition, Leila.