Two Choices for Fall

The way I see it, we are extremely lucky to have a choice. Every four years, we Americans are presented with a unique opportunity to choose between two excellent alternatives. Each alternative is very attractively presented and has much to offer by way of both appearance and, more importantly, substance. As the time gets closer to make a choice, we find each alternative increasingly demanding our attention and seeking our support. This year, the time is fast approaching for us to decide which Apple we prefer.

On the one hand, we have the very traditional, solid, sometimes surprising choice which has been around for a long [long, long, long] time. Although this traditional Apple (let's call it "T.A.", just to make things easier) has been around since before many of our parents, to its credit T.A. works hard to mix things up every now and then. Mixing it up for T.A. includes such maneuvers as moving beyond its 90% predictability rating to making downright outlandish choices, ostensibly to energize its biggest fans, most of whom are named Joe. Of course, you might assume T.A.'s biggest fans are already energized, so why go with outlandishness. But, you know what happens when you assume. To his credit, T.A. does an excellent job of calling to our attention the drawbacks of the newer alternative ("N.A." will work here), with constant reminders of how one bad apple placed into the bag early on spoils the whole bunch (no need for fact-checking here; I've seen firsthand, in my own kitchen cabinet, what happens to otherwise healthy apples, onions, and even potatoes when you put one rotten apple in with the bunch....oh, the smell, the mess ... but, I digress...).

Despite my early apprehensions, I have truly come to love watching T.A. on television, or, should I say, a reasonable fascimile thereof, late, on Saturday nights. Much more fun than watching either the Patriots or (boo, hoo) the Red Sox. I even look forward to T.A.'s mailings. So far, Bill has received an 8x10 glossy photo, an invitation to Dinner, and a FREE postage pre-paid, FedEx overnight envelope. The question I have is this: How did T.A. know to send the envelope to Bill and not me? Is T.A. monitoring Bill's radio listening? his choice of cable news networks? the jokes he forwards to me via email? How could T.A. possibly know to address these mailings to Bill and not me? If I were a more sensitive wife, I might feel left out of all the fun.

Of course, you all know I am not really that sensitive. And, I like creating my own fun, clearly.

Maybe T.A. knows that I made my choice several months ago. Maybe that's why I'm not getting personalized mailings. Maybe T.A. reads my Blog!!!! OMG! LOL! Sadly, though, if he does check in (oh, come on, he might, since he does send all that mail to Bill...), he will not be surprised to discover that I, like my bro' Colin Powell, find coconut to be "transformational." My choice:

Coconut, after all, makes the Apple so much easier to chew.